A revelation 10 years in the making

fiance, God, marriage, My First Blog, novel, passing time, trauma, waiting, Writing

This week I’ve signed up to be apart of a group of writers trying to write a 50,000 word novel in one month. It’s called Nanowrimo (http://www.nanowrimo.org/) and it’s been a daunting task to come up with about 1700 words a day. I’m on day four and have only 2500 when I should have 6800, but I’m doing it none-the-less.

I’ve begun a “novel” (I use the term loosely) about my own life. Over the past two days, as I’ve written the beginning, the words have been flowing quite nicely as I remember the past ten years of my life. Unfortunately, ten years ago was when I had one of the most traumatic moments of my life and remembering these moments has been both, well, traumatizing as well as therapeutic. You see, about ten years ago I was engaged to be married, but in December that year I lost my job and then in March my fiance called off our wedding and moved out of our apartment. As a result of that I had to move back in with my parents and start all over.

At the time I thought I’d never recover and I’d never love anyone again. I went through many months of shock, depression and withdrawal from my friends and society in general. I couldn’t understand why God had let these things happen to me. I couldn’t understand why He didn’t love me enough to let me be happy. I felt He had turned His back on me and I was all alone.

Ten years have passed and I am now happily married (to another man). Looking back I can see that God did indeed love me. He didn’t let me make the worst decision of my life, which would have been to marry the other man. Only God could see that I had a much brighter future ahead of me and He made sure I got there. Even if it took ten additional years and a few tears to get to this happy place.

In today’s society we often want what we want NOW. We don’t want to wait. We have fast food places where we can get a full meal within minutes, we have pharmacy drive throughs and can even order anything and everything we want online to be delivered to our doorstep within days. We don’t even need to leave our homes to get groceries and other basic necessities – just an internet connection. But in the Bible we often see that people had to wait for things. Joseph waited to be released from jail and reunited with his family, David waited to be King and Mary waited to see her son be glorified. I had to wait for the right man and the right marriage at the right time. I may not have seen the reasons why while I was in the midst of the storm, and maybe you won’t either, but God always has a plan. Are you willing to wait on Him?


3 thoughts on “A revelation 10 years in the making

  1. It's so awesome that you're doing NaNoWriMo. I tried last year and failed miserably — actually, saying “I tried” wouldn't even be true. I bought a notebook and thought about it the week before.

    When the month is over, if you want a reader, let me know –I'd love to see your work. I remember Nana talking to me about you ten years ago, but can see now that, indeed, good things do come from closed doors. You're so happy with John : )

  2. Thanks Julie – I'd love for you to read it! I got to 2500 words today, but the 'weight' of it has hit me some. I think I might delve into the happier parts for awhile!

    Irene was SO important to me during that time – her faith helped me many times and she ALWAYS hugged me when I saw her. It really helped to know someone cared so much about me.

    Thanks for your encouragement.

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