Looking for the rest

bible, exhausted, family, God, My First Blog, rest, stress, tired, weary

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 NIV

This is the passage I saw as I clicked into Bible Gateway today and I kind of laughed when I saw it. I knew right away that I should write a blog about it and all that has been happening in my life lately.

My job has not been good. The stress level has gone on a scale from about a 4, on most days, to a blistering 52,000 over the last several months. The work load isn’t the issue. I can handle work load. The lack of support and the lack of moral content in my office is the issue. My boss rants and raves. He degrades people on the phone. Calls them “losers” and “nobodys” if they don’t do what he wants them to do – no matter if it’s on the level or not. People I have to then talk to and work with after his ranting and raving is done. And He DEMANDS respect for his ranting, raving and demeaning. He expects results after ranting and raving. He’s a bully. (What’s that saying “More results with honey than vinegar”?? Guess he’s never heard that one….) Our company people are wearied by his bullying.

No one cares in our office. The producer has been out of the office quite frequently, but not to sell insurance or build our product. She’s been out every day on personal items. Every afternoon for about a month now. There is no one to sell the insurance here. We don’t write new business anymore. She collects her renewal commissions on renewals that I do the work for so why does she have to try harder? My co-workers are wearied by her lack of work – it means less pay in the end for us all.

My co-worker has no health insurance. She has been told that after 10 years of steady work here that she works “part-time” so she doesn’t qualify. Our hours are 9-4:30 with an hour lunch. No one works full-time to be honest. But she’s the only one without insurance. In fact, they pay for my insurance AND my husbands. No money comes from my pocket, which is great for us, but why is she scorned and why does she have to do without? She frets over it everyday. She’s wearied.

I came to my end and I couldn’t take it anymore here so I applied for work elsewhere. And I was offered a job – a good job – and I was hopeful. Things were going to change. Things were going to improve. Perhaps my leaving would free up money for my co-worker to get insurance. Maybe my replacement would calm my boss’s demeanor and be able to make things right again. Maybe they’d have money to hire a producer who would sell and write new business. I was hopeful at the amount of change one thing could bring.

Then I was hit on a personal level. I was scorned by people I love. Told that I was “uninvited” without a reason. That a relationship had been severed with no shot at redemption. And I must accept it and move on without closure.

Then my parents became ill. Colds really, but my mother has emphysema so her immune system is already lacking. She’s in the hospital and I have to be at work. Where no one cares and I can’t go visit her because I have to be here. Knowing that every illness she gets makes her lungs weaker and one day a simple cold may kill her. And I can do nothing to prevent it. My dad sitting at home alone – not feeding himself right as most men don’t when they are ill. Not taking care of himself properly. And not listening to his daughter (who knows best!)

My church family is peppered with cancer and illness issues, ailing loved ones, loved ones who reject salvation, a lack of jobs, a lack of funds, bills piling up, and the list goes on. They are wearied.

I am burdened and weary. My mother is burdened and weary. My husband is burdened and weary from taking care of his wearied wife. My father is burdened and wearied from taking care of his wife. My co-workers are weary from their struggles. My church friends are wearied from their struggles.

But God says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28  It is all I can hope for – all I can rest upon. When I am weary He is all I can rely on. God is the only one who can be there ALL the time for me. He can always listen and not have to run to the next appointment. He can listen without judgement. He can give me rest. In Him I can be me. No matter how weary, stressed out, irrational, crazy, tormented, distraught and thoroughly TIRED I am. There is nothing else – because the hits keep coming. But in my God I can rest. I feel His arms around me even now – His compassion and love surrounding me when I can do no more on my own. I can pray and in that there is hope and strength. I can hope in Him. He WILL bring about peace in my life and others. He is with me, and you, always. Come to Him. He will give you rest.

Advertisements

One thought on “Looking for the rest

  1. That is one of my favorite verses, too, as well as the following verses. He promises His yoke is easier and his burden lighter than the crazy ones we've been carrying. And “Cast ALL your cares on him for he cares for you.” (Somewhere in 1 Peter?)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s