Confession #3

date, depression, God, gods love, My First Blog, stress

OK here is my latest confession: I hate St. Patrick’s Day. Now before a bunch of you email me about your Irish heritage and yada, yada…. hear me out. Ten years ago on St. Patricks Day (March 17th) my fiance moved out. We were forty five days out from our wedding date, it was the day after my bridal shower, and the day before I was to start my new job. When I came home from my part-time job he had packed everything up and was writing me a note. A note.

What happened after that was a long recovery filled with anguish, shock, depression and distress. Every year that March 17th came around, no matter how much progress I had made, I felt the sadness sink in.

I met a man four years later and we began to get to know one another. He was different and so was I and we seemed to click. I told him about March 17th. We never celebrated with green beer or hanging out with friends. He did try and buy me flowers once on that date to try and get the deep-seeded anxiety to move on, but it didn’t work.

We got married and have, so far, had a pretty wonderful life. I’m quite changed from the woman I was ten years ago. Things from the past rarely upset me any more and I have learned to rely on God quite a bit. Recently I’ve begun writing as many of you know if you’re reading this blog! The Secret Place devotional magazine has published one of my devotionals in the Spring 2012 issue. It is my first published work.

When I saw it this week I could not believe my eyes. They had published my devotional on March 17th. There was absolutely no way they would have known that this date had any effect on me. There was no indication to them in any way. And, yet, there it was. In black and white. God had chosen this date through them to show me that it didn’t need to be a date I dreaded anymore. It was His way, a BIG way, of saying to me “You ARE loved”. I have come full circle from that date ten years ago and I truly feel now that I can move on from it. Thank you Lord for your MANY provisions – sometimes the ones we don’t see, like ten years ago, and those we do – with a simple, yet powerful date choice.

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