My husband and I spent a week together away from home. It was nice. But we spent almost no time apart except for sleeping. Seriously. Every waking minute. Cramped in a car, stuck in a one room B&B suite, walking along the beach… a week people. I love him and all, but I needs my space too. Thank God there was some beer along the way. There had to be – or he might be seriously hurt. Anyway – this blog is some of the conversations we had along the way as a result of too much time spent together.
“I really want to see a moose,” I say “Do you think we would see one even if it was laying down? I mean they are big, right?”
My husband calmly, with not the slightest tinge of a smile responds: “Well, unless their antlers were camouflage… you know, made of pine cones or something.”
“There is a Tim Horton’s!” my husband shouts (and points).
“What’s a Tim Horton’s?”
“It’s like a Dunkin Donuts… well they are the Canadian Dunkin Donuts,” he explains “but better because the donuts are made metrically.”
“Clock.” (said over and over again every time I saw a clock on a building. Did you know there are a lot of clocks on buildings in New England? It’s like they invented the whole clock-on-a-building thing. … Wait. I might have to look that up. I was too concerned about moose to think about that. Maybe they did invent that.)
“Welcome to Woolwich. Mayor: Elmer Fudd.” (You see because we have Woolrich here…)
“That’s bigger than twelve inches…” smirk (I think this might have been about a moose.) “that’s what she said.”
“Said no girl ever.”
“Don’t smuggle me!” You see… what I MEANT to say was “Don’t smother me” and “Go ahead and snuggle me”, but it came out as “Don’t smuggle me.” I admit – I had taken my ambien already when this happened. Things get a little murky after I take my ambien… My husband asked me if he thought I was going to take him to a Tim Horton’s.
“Dear Lord. I know I’ve been asking all week to see a moose, but, you see, now we’re driving in the back woods of only You know where and it’s dark,the road is windy, and we don’t know where we are… and I like my car… and we are over nine hours away from home so… I really don’t want to see a moose right now…”
Do NOT get me started on the moose calls that started by the end of the week. I SERIOUSLY wanted to see a moose…