So here is why I am on the good side of the bet I recently made with my husband.
First – my husband has a decision making disorder. I know that the reason he does is because he does not like to make anyone angry or upset anyone. Especially me. It’s very endearing and a wonderful thought that he only wants me to be happy all my days, except… it means I have to make ALL the decisions in our relationship. Now I’m talking about the minor things: where to eat tonight, what to eat tonight, where to go on vacation, where we will stay, what we will do, what our weekends will consist of… it’s exhausting for me. Recently when faced with having to make a crucial (in my mind) decision because he refused to help me out caused me to have a minor meltdown in a pretty public place.
So. For this bet I forced him to make a decision. He knows I don’t like facial hair and, even though he wanted to grow this beard, he didn’t want to do it because he knew it would probably not make me happy. I forced his hand in a way. I made him defy me. “oh yeah? So then GROW IT!” I said. He was so perturbed that I was essentially questioning his manhood that he threw down along with me.
And guess what? I think he’s happy with this damn beard. And his decision.
Second – I get those chairs no matter what. It’s just that I’ll have to wait longer for them now and not just rush out, like most of America does, and spend a chunk of change that I don’t have on it. Instead I get to save for it. When’s the last time you heard anyone say THAT?
Third – it’s like a whole new guy. He looks different and acts different. At first it was pretty… uh… hot. (That seems kind of personal, but… it’s the truth.) He had confidence in himself. “See? I can grow it! Ha ha!!” with his chest and new hair growth stuck out so I could, in fact, take notice. And I did – it was sexy. One friend said to me “Make sure he leaves before your husband gets home!” – it was almost like we were cheating! (I’m kind of joking… it’s just a beard.) (But she was kind of right.)
Until he scratched me with the beard. Now it’s not so hot because I can’t get a kiss without brush burn.
So I think this bet is instructional as well as fun. We’re finding out new things about one another, noticing how others react to him with the beard (His boss tried to send him home early one day. Not sure if she is just into beards or thought he looked like Ted Bundy and should be sent home before he… well, exploded.) and how we need to force ourselves each and every day to take steps outside our comfort zones.
This beard might not stay, but he’d never have known otherwise.
Each of us needs to explore different things once in awhile. How else would we know we don’t want to do it or something that we never tried before would be pretty awesome? (not the beard… I kind of hate it. … but honey you can keep it if you really love it.)