Decisions, Decisions

addictions, ambien, eyes, God, headaches, joy, medications, meds, My First Blog, nightime, prescription, relaxation, sleep, sleep issues

If you’re a faithful reader, which I thank you for, you know that I am in the midst of a journey through several things. 1) I am trying to lose weight  2) I am trying to find joy  3) I am experimenting with new foods and diets and 4) I am trying to figure out how to sleep.

Several of these, especially if you are a man, might seem quite easy to you. “Sleep?” you say in your deep, baritone manly voice “Why just close your eyes!” (No kidding – my Dad said this to me once.) When I ask my husband how he sleeps so easily he says “I just close my eyes and let the nothing come.” Gee, that must be nice.

Women – now I’m talking to you. It’s obvious men have no clue when it comes to the sleep thing. How many of you close your eyes and instantly think of 4 things you forgot to do? Yep, I can see the show of hands from here. Me too. And how many of you have a snoring husband lying beside you whilst the plethora of unfinished tasks mull around your noggin? Yep. Me too!  And how many of you go to bed LATER than your counterpart do to unfinished chores, children’s needs, your own hygenic needs or some other life-altering chore? YEP! ME TOO! It’s like we’re all related!

And how many of you are sick of the articles that say: “Find a quiet, calm spot to sleep. Turn off all distractions. Let your mind relax. Do not eat after this time, do not read in bed, do not watch tv in bed, yada, yada, yada….” These folks obviously live alone in the wilderness.

Seriously though – here is my conundrum: I used to take ambien for sleep. I slept blissfully and had no issues. But they raised the cost so I quick taking them. “I can do it on my own!” I exclaimed. And I did. For awhile. Now the lack of sleep has me considering: what was so wrong with the ambien?

My doctor (a new one – not the one who originally prescribed the ambien) told me he had no concerns with it. It was addictive he said, but it was possible to go off of it (which I have for over a month despite the lack of sleep) and if I intended to keep on it until I died – he had no qualms about me taking it. But I insisted I had to be off the drug.

Now… a month later and with bleary eyes and pounding headache I wonder: Why?

Here’s the thing. I’ve tried Melatonin, Unisom, Benadryl, Tylenol PM and various other meds for sleep. They might work one night, but not the next or they might not work at all. So I start taking combinations. Sometimes it works, sometimes it fails. But now I’m taking multiple pills that might interact with one another instead of just taking one ambien and I still don’t always sleep. Which is better?

I believe God gave us scientists who, in turn, give us new products including medications to make our life better. So does He want me to just take the ambien and sleep or does He want me to trust in Him for sleep? Does He want me to trust in Him that He’ll provide the money for the prescription or does He want me to not become addicted?

What do you think?


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