Like my title? It’s how I’m feeling right now. My husband, who is a budget analyst, is in the throes of the budget season at his job. This means MANY a late night and time spent away from home and me. By late night I mean: he worked on Sunday. Yes, Sunday. That’s when his non church-going co-workers voted to work since they had to work the weekend. It meant missing church for us and a family picnic we were hoping to attend to see family we hadn’t seen in months. It means working from 7am until 9:30pm last night and today – 7am until… well he’s still there and it’s 9:10pm.
Not only is this a very stressful time for him, but it also sucks for me. You see – I hate being alone. I’m not good at it. Never was, probably never will be. Ask my mom – she always told me “Go play by yourself!” when my friend Carol couldn’t play… without sounding perverted… how does one play with oneself?
Now I’m almost forty and I don’t have any Barbie dolls laying around. And I doubt the dog wants me to dress him up and play “dolly.” So what do I do now?
My friends encourage me to clean the house, write more blogs, take a “spa” night, go out with the girls (except all their husbands or children are HOME and they can’t go out) or just “do my own thang!”, but it’s very hard for me. Yes, that means I’m kind of dependent on John. Duh. If you know me and this is a shock to you – you didn’t know me too well to begin with. We love each other. We thrive being together. We wither alone.
So here I sit… on the biggest waster of time – the internet. I’ve played Words with Friends, checked my email, posted on Facebook, edited a recent story I wrote, and am now writing my blog. (So at least I did SOME productive things!) I also took a walk with the dog earlier.
Whooo. Slow down. I might be having too much fun and I need to get off the ride.
(Which, by the way, it didn’t help that a bazillion people walked by our house tonight on the way to the local carnival, which I feel sad going to alone.)
But I guess it did the trick. It’s 9:15 now and I can head off to bed soon and read for awhile. Praying he will get home in time for him to get at least a couple of hours of sleep before he has to go off and do it again tomorrow.
It took my mind off being alone. It made the night pass, but he still isn’t home. And it’s 9:21.