What An MRI Showed Me

anxiety, doctor, God, grace, love, MRI, My First Blog, pain, peace, stress, test, tests

As many of you are aware I’ve been dealing with undiagnosed hip pain now for about a year. In the last several months I have finally made my way to an orthopedic doctor who finally prescribed an MRI.

Let me first say that I have had an MRI before. It was unpleasant. I am pretty claustrophobic and I had been warned you go into a tube, but I was unprepared for the extreme closeness of the machine and the excessive noise it makes. For over forty minutes it buffeted my body with noise, while I was strapped down (unable to move my head even slightly) and enclosed in a tube. To say that I was nearly overcome with panic is an understatement.

It looked like this:
 That bed rises up and you go all the way into that tube. Totally encased. That little round thing at the top of the bed? To hold your head in place. It’s like a torture device.

So this time I asked for an open MRI.

It looked like this:

As you can see it is more open, but I was still nervous from my last encounter. I asked for prayer from friends to help with the rising unease. After all – this is what I wanted. I wanted this test. I wanted to know WHAT this pain is. I needed it to tell me what I could do so I could stop being in pain.

To add to my anxiety I had a very stressful, hectic day at work the day before and by the time the test time came closer, my stomach was in knots. I had so much to accomplish at work and yet I had to leave early for this test. And yet I knew I needed this test.

I was frustrated.

I continued to pray that I could find God’s peace and get through this so I could get to the other side of this pain.

Here is how God answered me:
– Every item I needed to get done at work before I had to leave for my test got done. Even the ones I didn’t think would get done that day. All done. Tied up in a nice little bow. And I had about 10 minutes before I had to leave to spare and take a breath. I had peace. Just what I had asked for.

– When I got to my test, the people were very professional and I didn’t have to wait. (Which was also a blessing because I had a regular doctor’s appointment scheduled RIGHT after the test and I didn’t want to be late. Which also added to my stress!)

– The tech asked me if I wanted to listen to any music. I asked if he had any Christian music. “Sure, ‘GRC okay?” I smiled. Here is the thing. ‘GRC is the abbreviation for WGRC which is THE Christian radio station around these parts. But it’s mainly only people who listen to it that call it ‘GRC. It’s a familial term. I felt like I was in good hands.

– They told me it would take 20 minutes and they kept to their word. A rarity, if you ask me, amongst doctor’s offices.

– When I was done I had to wait for my CD to be made. When I went to sit in the waiting room there was one other person in the room. He had on this shirt: “It’s not a religion, it’s a relationship.” Again, I smiled.

– They gave me my CD and said I could go. I had 5 minutes to get to my next doctor’s appointment which was only 2 minutes away.

I felt peace throughout the whole process. When I felt my nerves kicking in I just said “God, I need your peace” and immediately I could feel it. Many times the noise got so loud and I just about lost it, but then it would stop and I could hear the radio station playing. Many of my favorites songs played during that 20 minutes (even though I could barely hear most of them.)

During one very panicky moment I could very clearly hear the DJ, even over the very loud noises of the machine, tell the listeners about the saving grace of God. About how He loves us and cares for us. It helped the panic to subside and I was okay again for a few moments.

Now I have to wait for the results, but I know this: God is seeing me through it. God will continue to see me through it. It won’t be easy, the results might not show anything and I might just be back where I started from, but I KNOW He is with me. And He won’t let me down.


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