Three big things are occurring at the end of this week:
- Friday the 13th
- Valentine’s Day
- The release of “Fifty Shades of Grey” the movie
Let’s take a moment to discuss each.
Friday the 13th is a mostly Western superstition according to Wikipedia. There is no written evidence for a “Friday the 13th” superstition before the 19th century, and the superstition only gained widespread distribution in the 20th century. Here are some reasons why it’s considered unlucky now (quoted from Wikipedia):
- In numerology, the number twelve is considered the number of completeness, as reflected in the twelve months of the year, twelve hours of the clock day, the twelve deities of Olympus, twelve tribes of Israel, twelve Apostles of Jesus, the 12 successors of Muhammad in Shia Islam, twelve signs of the Zodiac, the 12 years of the Chinese Buddhist cycle, etc. In contrast the number thirteen is considered irregular, transgressing this completeness.
….Okay. I get the number twelve significance, but what makes thirteen BAD? I was born on the thirteenth… does that make me “incomplete”?
- There is a superstition, thought by some to derive from the Last Supper or a Norse myth, that having thirteen people seated at a table results in the death of one of the diners.
– This is because there were actually 13 people seated at the Last Supper – the thirteenth being Judas. Again… I see the significance, but feel a little slighted being someone born on the 13th. Let’s give this a rest people – it’s just a day.
Valentine’s Day: So… When I was single I hated this day and reasoned that it was just a way for greeting card companies, restaurants, florists and chocolatiers to make a buck. And, after being married, it still is those things. This year it’s on a Saturday so those folks all stand to make major moohla on this day, but I don’t mind it so much anymore. You see for the first several years of our “together-life,” my husband and I didn’t celebrate this day. He lived far away for awhile and it wasn’t feasible and then he had a job that kept him working late on this date. I sometimes would receive flowers and little trinkets, but we never got to spend the ACTUAL day together. Now it’s different. He doesn’t have that job anymore, so last year, for the first time ever in 8 years, we went out to dinner on Valentine’s day. And I saw the appeal – other couples in love sharing a meal around us, no children to break into the splendor, people just exuding LOVE… it was nice.
How often do we go out to run errands, sometimes with children along, and before we know it – the day is over. Did we kiss each other? Hold hands? Give a heartfelt hug? I’m not saying this is the ONLY day we should do these things, but it does help us crazy, got-to-get-everything-done type people, stop for a minute and say, “Hey, I love you!”
Fifty Shades of Grey: There is part of me that doesn’t even want to give this piece of trash a moment in the sun on my blog. It’s received enough hype and enough press. But here’s the thing: I have God Daughters. And I don’t want them to EVER think this type of relationship as portrayed in this book/movie is acceptable. No woman should ever feel like an abusive, sadistic relationship is healthy.
(I wanted to put a picture of what love is not, but was so disturbed by the images I found that I did not. Google “abusive”, “bondage”, “bad relationship”… you’ll see.)
This is a direct quote from a description of the book: The unworldly (I guess indicating that only uneducated women are stupid enough to fall for this crap?) Ana realizes she wants this man, and Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms.
On the author’s page it says this: Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control.
Huh? On his own terms? Need to control? Uh, no. That is not a healthy relationship folks. Because why else would he want an “unwordly” woman? He wants to control her – and an unworldly woman is easier to control I guess. That’s an ABUSIVE relationship folks. And as a society we should not be promoting this book or movie. Why on God’s green earth would I promote this book knowing my god daughter’s may one day say “Oh, Aunt Sue says that’s okay. So just because my boyfriend is beating me is not bad. It’s just his need for control.” Or worse yet “I’m not very worldly… maybe this is what real love is like in the ‘big city’.”
And to go even further – Wikipedia states this: Critical reception of the book, however, has been mixed, with the quality of its prose generally seen as poor.
Why on earth would I, as a writer and editor, even promote a poorly written book???
I’ve not read it. I won’t read it. So some may say I cannot judge it. And they may be right. But given what I do know about this sick excuse for literature I will say “Don’t read it” to my girls. And I urge you to do the same.
Please read my friend’s letter to her daughter concerning this issue here for more reasons to not promote this work.
And instead of seeing the abusive, misogynist, rape celebration that is 50 Shades of Grey please donate the cost of a movie admission ticket to RAINN.org (or any other organization that combats male pattern violence/violence against women). (Thanks Jessica Rose for this idea.)
So there you have it. You make the choice this weekend: 1) Be afraid to go out, 2) Be in a respectful and loving relationship, or 3) go see a movie promoting abuse and fear, the opposite of love.
Feel free to discuss – trollers, spammers and foul language will not be tolerated. Your views are always welcome – within reason (translation: my god daughters may read this some day so be nice!)