I’ve been working hard trying to keep my freelancing business going, as well as trying to get my Simply Said business off the ground, and late last week I determined – I need a break. I’m exhausted. Last week (and for a few weeks prior really) I’d been running at full steam. Several days I worked from about 7:30 a.m. until 7 p.m. just to keep up with my workload and all that I wanted to do.
This past weekend we did yard work, went to a street festival, attended a Garth Brooks concert, and tried to take daily long walks as well (since the weather has FINALLY decided to cooperate). And come Monday morning – I was spent. And sick. I had caught a cold.
I often find in times like these when I’ve tried to make a path for myself or that I’ve tried to get things moving in my own way, that God gently nudges me.
It starts like this: *nudge* *nudge* *whisper* *whisper*
I keep plugging away, shaking off that gentle nudge. “Hustling, Hustling,” I call it. “I’ll just read my Bible later,” I say. Or “Oh yeah, I forgot to pray. Thanks God for your blessings. I have to be on my way now!”
The nudges become more pronounced. I can start to feel in my spirit that things aren’t right. I feel Him calling to me in almost everything I do and, yet, I keep going on my own. Acting like I don’t have time for the one who sent His son for me. (Wow. That one hurts, doesn’t it?)
And the nudges turn into slaps. Not really – it sometimes just feels that way. Something I’ve longed for gets taken away, time seems to fade away quicker and quicker, communication with my husband becomes strained… slaps.
Then finally, one day, I get sick. Or I simply can’t take anymore and my body gives out. I sleep for longer hours. Or I just have no motivation to do anything. I lounge in my chair and just feel “blah.” That’s me today. Struggling to overcome my cold, feeling worn out and tired. Wondering why I didn’t listen to God last week and why I didn’t hear Him saying, “Take some time for yourself,” and “It’s time to rest.” Okay, I did hear Him, but I didn’t listen.
So now… I’m taking a small break. I’ll still do work today, but yesterday I took a small nap. And today I intend to go lay in the sun for a bit. Maybe snuggle my puppy… read my Bible and chat with the Lord.
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. (1 Kings 19:11-13)