A Weight On My Mind

Life and Happiness

I started writing this blog and had several paragraphs written before I realized I was detouring around my topic. The detour became so complex that I began to really lose my way. SO. Instead, I’m starting over and just coming out with the truth.

I’ve been hurt, disgusted and saddened all at the same time by one person. The person will remain nameless. (Not because I’m trying to be shady, just because it doesn’t matter and I don’t want to hurt them in the process. If you think it’s you, it’s probably not.) I’ve been working hard on my own to forgive, forget and move on, but it seems like it keeps coming up in my life and I’m not sure how to move on.

Hence, this blog. Very often, I utilize my blog to vent my frustrations and work through my issues. Many of you have encouraged me and told me you love my transparency. I pray you will be forgiving and understanding of this post, too.

I worked with an individual on a project not too long ago, and they felt wronged by something I’d done…or that they thought I’d done. In reality, I’d not done any wrong to this person and, in fact, went out of my way to do things right. But they didn’t care. This person only saw, and felt, what they wanted to see and feel. No matter what I said or did – it didn’t matter.

Time went on and I prayed things had been resolved, but they had not. When I realized that this person still felt hurt by things I had not done, I was distressed and tried to make it right…again. Time apparently does not heal all wounds, especially with this person. In fact, I’ve now determined that there is nothing I can do to make this right. This person feels the way they feel and I can’t change it – no matter how hard I try.

And that hurts. I don’t like unresolved conflict. I like to resolve things and move on. It’s the only healthy way, in my opinion. But this relationship will never have that and I’m distressed by it. I think about this relationship often and wonder if I could try again to fix it. But, in the end, I’m going to have to let it go.

That’s hard, too. But I’m praying daily about it and hoping that God will guide me to a peaceful end to this situation. That may mean that this person and I will never be friends again. That hurts even to write it, but I also can’t make people like me. I know I didn’t do anything wrong and I know I only wanted the best for this person, but if this person refuses to believe that – what can I do?

So, for now, I’ll continue to pray for this person and I will continue to do the best I can do in everything I can. Sometimes I do screw up, and sometimes I don’t do the right thing, but when I strive to do the right thing and apologize when I don’t – I can do nothing more.

How about you – has someone hurt you or does someone think you hurt them when you didn’t? How did you handle it? Your comments and prayers are very appreciated.



2 thoughts on “A Weight On My Mind

  1. Sue I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Perhaps that person didn’t know you made it right or they have something going on in their life that they forgot that you had and haven’t came down from their own emotional spiral in order to make it right with you. Your friend is very fortunate to have someone like you praying for them. I know I am often guilty of being quick to judge and dragging feet to apologize later and I pray this is the cause with you and your friend that you would be able to rebuild this friendship.

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