Confession time. It’s been hard to get back on the weight loss wagon since Christmas. I didn’t eat that badly over the holidays and I only gained a couple of pounds, but there is still candy in the house and my brain just doesn’t seem to want to STOP eating.
I’ve gone back to strength training class, but I’ve missed a few – where I hadn’t missed any previously. And I’m not exercising when not in class – a must. I’m sick. I’ve come down with a sinus infection. A pretty bad one, and I had to skip class again because I was afraid of a hacking, coughing fit and exposing my newfound friends to disease.
I was run down – my body needed rest. Yes, I know, you say, “It’s okay to take time for yourself,” and it is. I agree. But I sit ALL day long. I NEED to move. The pounds don’t just magically disappear if you don’t work at taking them off. I can feel them gathering their strength against me as I sit here like a sloth with snot running down my nose.
But I took most of the weekend off anyway. I slept. I cried. I battled the sinus headaches, the runny (and eventually sore) nose, and the blahs. And I felt like not only was I sick, but I was also gaining THOUSANDS of pounds by simply not moving.
I know. I know. It’s all in my head. The scale says I didn’t gain anything. (Probably because I was sick enough not to want to eat too much.) Yes, it’s a process. I hear that, too. But…still, I feel like I’ve failed.
I have class tonight. Will I make it? Will I give up and just say, “It’s too hard”? I hope not. (As long as the sinus crap has subsided anyway…) I’ve already begun to feel stronger and more capable even if the pounds haven’t come off in ways I’d like. I want to be a good steward of this body which God has blessed me with. I need to keep pushing forward. Even when I feel like I’ve failed.
I know many of you are probably out there struggling, too. I think weight issues are one of the top most worries of American people – women especially. We’re inundated with products and lose weight quick scams. Kardashians who think they have the magic pill in the form of revenge. There is no magic solution. You can’t do it to get back at someone else. You MUST do it for you and you alone.
This brings to mind the Toby Mac song, Til the Day I Die.
I can’t stop
I can’t quit
It’s in my heart
It’s on my lips
I can’t stop, no
I can’t quit
It’s in my heart, yeah
I’m all in.
He’s speaking about his devotion to God, but my personal trainer uses this song during our workouts to inspire us to not quit on ourselves, either. It’s running through my head now as I write this and I am feeling more pumped again. I will move forward. My body needed rest, but I’m not going to give up.
I can’t stop. I can’t quit. I’m all in.
How about you? Tell me your fears, frustrations, and failures at losing weight, being sick and needing to rest. Let’s lift each other up. We can do this.